 | good things come
Current mood:  happy tornado-like whirlwinds and tears and stress and blood and guts
lots of blood
absolute terror. fear. the unknown.
patience
wait
wait until the storm is calm
and done
sun
the sun peaks through
the sun shines down on you
hope and dreams and spirit and life
calm breezes and opportunities
understanding and talking and softness
love
love
love
it comes. it stays for now.
another storm will take hold
but the sun will always come back somehow.
life is crazy, huh? march is the culmination or maybe the beginning. but beginnings and endings are always the same. i'm acting acting acting. alexander tech, scene study, voice, audition tech. did a short film. learning a lead role for atsf. la in a couple weeks to explore the tv opp. wow. oh, and i'm happy again. i seem to attract traumatic experiences...but i made it through. i always will. it's so scary to think the thoughts i thought..what happened..what the doctors thought..but we were all wrong and everything is okay. and the support i received at a moments notice... it was like you knew. you called at the exact moment. and you were here. my doubts are erased. in fact is it fate? and i'm still wobbly, but feeling more solid. things are more clear. my life is cleaning up. i'm getting confirmed. i am so excited. only a couple more weeks. i go to confession for the first time monday. i was terrified, but now i'm looking forward to it. things are calm. i'm laughing again. i'm good. we're good. beautiful. and i have my chance. the universe is opening up...well, i guess it's always been open, i just couldn't find the door...but i found one that opens for me and i'm gonna see where it goes. it's so nice to not be bitchy and paranoid and stiff and unhappy anymore...though many of those emotions and behaviors were drug induced. no more! i'm me again! yippie!!! so let's jump in the sea and watch where the tides take us. |
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