fear and faith

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Alanas story Wow. It's been one of those years I guess. In the last week I lost a friend and fellow company member of ATSF, Paula Burtis. You know, after two years, I didn't even know her that well..the details of her life and such. But she was one of those people that was a calm, angelic spirit and you knew she was there, always supportive, gentle, kind. And she's passed on to the other side. It's a really different feeling to lose a friend. Death comes. Losing a grandparent or Aunt is hard, but someone who is your friend is somehow different. I don't know. I still don't really know how I feel or what to say. I feel the pain of those who were close to her the most right now. Tomorrow is her memorial service...I'm going, but don't know what to expect. And almost one year ago exactly I posted a note and poem about Alana, my niece...three years old and diagnosed with cancer. A year later, she has just finished her last chemo treatment, doesn't have to wear a cast and all her scans show she is cancer free. Wow. So this is how life revolves. It doesn't ever make sense. You don't know when someone will come into your life and you never know when they are leaving. An important person in my life spoke to me the last night of FEAR and FAITH. Faith being the opposite of FEAR. And we can chose in which we live our lives. I've read all the self help books and seen the movies..the secret, psychocybernetics (okay so I didn't get all the way through that one) and all those books... positive thinking, think it into existence, blah blah blah... There value there. I believe in positive thinking. I believe in the power of prayer. But there is still FEAR or FAITH..or a bit of both. All we know for sure is our time in this life and this body will end. No one knows what happens next. So I guess the point of my rambling is to keep the faith. LOVE. Use the time you have here to make the world better. SMILE. Enjoy life... even when you're having a bad day and are down on your luck, remember the longest day you'll ever live through is only 24 hours...right. God bless... And to my friends and family... I love you. Alana, you are an amazing kid...thank you for being such a blessing and an example to follow.